Joint Custody and Parental Conflict: When It Just Doesn’t Work
When parents separate, joint custody often seems like the fairest arrangement—on paper. But as the Spanish Supreme Court made clear in its recent ruling (Judgment No. 981/2024, 10 July), shared custody simply doesn’t work when conflict rules the day.
In this particular case, the Court reversed a previous decision that had granted joint custody. Instead, it ruled in favour of sole custody for the mother. Why? Because the level of hostility between the parents—and between the children and their father—was so significant that any form of co-parenting became unworkable.
The father also faced criminal proceedings for alleged abuse towards one of the children. That alone would have raised serious concerns. But it wasn’t the only issue. The children showed a clear preference for their mother’s parenting approach, and the parents couldn’t agree on basic matters like education.
When Shared Parenting Becomes a Battleground
The idea behind joint custody is that both parents remain actively involved in their children’s lives. But that requires communication, trust, and cooperation—things clearly absent in this case.
The Supreme Court underlined something we often forget: shared custody isn’t a parental right—it’s a framework that only works if it genuinely benefits the child. When it leads to chaos, anxiety, or continued exposure to parental conflict, the courts have a duty to intervene.
A Legal Principle with Limits
While many courts lean toward joint arrangements as the norm, they are not mandatory. Every case must be examined on its own facts. And here, the facts were undeniable: serious conflict, ongoing legal issues, and a breakdown in trust.
As a family solicitor in Valencia, I’ve seen this time and again. The real question isn’t whether both parents want joint custody—it’s whether they can make it work. If the answer is no, it’s the children who pay the price.
The Role of the Lawyer: Clarity Over Combat
Sometimes, the hardest advice to give is the most responsible one: shared custody isn’t always in the child’s best interest. Our role, as legal advisors, isn’t to win a fight at any cost. It’s to ensure our clients understand the realities of the law—and the emotional cost of forcing arrangements that are doomed to fail.
This case is a reminder that custody decisions must be driven by stability, not symmetry. And where that stability is missing, the court must act. As must we.
Sandra Márquez
Criminal & Family Lawyer
CEO Expat&Legal Spain